I love getting questions, and one of my favorite readers was kind enough to submit the following (bolding mine)
“ … My husband really does seem to be working on his recovery, but I can’t shake the thought that it is all just a game to deceive me back into his lunatic world.
“If I turn my back he may do exactly as you describe: discredit, blame, and lie – to isolate me and to steal my money (which I think he’s already doing).” ~ anonymous
Ah, yes. Your inner voice. The voice we learned to ignore after so many years of living in confusion – knowing something is wrong but unable to pin anything down.
I believe we’ve been taught by the addict to ignore our inner voice, thru years of systematic gas lighting. Is it any wonder we doubt ourselves and question reality? Is it any wonder we silence our inner voice and decide instead that there’s something wrong with us?
Listen to that tiny voice. Deep inside, buried under years of abuse, that voice is the real you crying out, desperate to be heard!
In the quiet moments, I believe we all know the answers. We have to learn to listen, believe, and take actions based on those realities.
The other option is to base our actions on what we wish to be true or what the addict tells us is true. As too many of us have learned, that is a road paved with pain and continually mounting costs – physical, emotional, and financial.