Fatherhood and the Narcissist/Sociopath

As an emotionally vacant sex addict, my ex could not comprehend the magnitude of our children’s physical and emotional needs. Because he traveled for business every week and helped himself to little “distractions” like whores, he had no idea of the constancy of parenthood. Thus, to this day, he believes he was a great and active father.

To which I ask:

–  Did you take them to the orthodontist? pediatrician? school? parent teacher conferences? friend’s  houses? playground? ER? library? grocery store?

Can you tell me what they’re afraid of? their hopes and dreams? what hurts them? their nightmares? their favorite foods? how they react to vaccinations? what fabric softener makes them think of home? their favorites songs?

Did you hold their hair when they puked? teach them how to bake cookies or do laundry? show them how to safely cross the street? teach them to never walk out of the mall alone after dark? support them thru hair mistakes and prom dates?

Did you tell them they were beautiful, inside and out? cherish them? try to lighten their burdens in life? teach them how a real man treats women?

You never knew your kids because you are incapable of knowing another human intimately. You can’t know what wondrous things you missed and you’ll never comprehend the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into those kids – virtually alone in the hell you created.

It takes real balls to show up when they are adults, claim to have been a great father, claim to have only cheated once, and bash the mother who did the heavy lifting alone.

Denying your children’s reality and confusing them with even more lies is  abusive. It’s called gaslighting and it’s causing your children to doubt their own memories, perceptions, and perhaps even their sanity.

You, sir, are a bad man – and you will continue to be a bad man until the day you tell your children the truth. I suspect hell will freeze over first.

 

 

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