If it feels wrong, creepy, bizarre, or unsettling, there is a good reason. It probably is.
The sociopathic sex addict will tell you who they are. Are you listening?
1. Listen for absurd accusations :
Sociopaths are masters of projection. They assume everyone else is just like them.
For every accusation he hurled at me or anyone else, he had done that very thing or worse.
Every storekeeper was out to screw him. Every neighbor was lying. Every co-worker was gaming the system to get ahead.
And me? I was accused of infidelity, stealing money, never loving him, and more. I was told I was worthless, lazy, crazy and ungrateful. On and on it went.
When I learned of his sex addiction, the twisted manipulations and hypocrisy hit me like cold water. Prior to that moment, however, the years of gaslighting had nearly destroyed my ability to trust myself.
2. Listen for the odd truths that sneak out and leave you confused:
My ex’s favorite was “You’re going to leave me someday.”
He knew he was a deceitful selfish man. He knew that I would eventually discover the truth and would, indeed, leave him.
He would say this and I would predictably feel sorry for him, doubt my own ability to show love, and reassure him that I would stay no matter what. What a sick dance.
3. Listen for the wide sweeping, bizarre proclamations of grandeur:
When he wasn’t busy telling me what a great guy he was, my ex would very often say to me “I will never leave you or forsake you.” You know, like Jesus. Ewww.
Apparently he had quite unusual definitions of “forsake” and “great guy”.
It always left me unsettled, but I couldn’t put words to it at the time. I should have listened to my inner voice that was screaming, “Hypocrite!!”