If it feels wrong, creepy, bizarre, or unsettling, there is a good reason. It probably is.
The sociopathic sex addict will tell you who they are. Are you listening?
1. Listen for absurd accusations :
Sociopaths are masters of projection. They assume everyone else is just like them.
For every accusation he hurled at me or anyone else, he had done that very thing or worse.
Every storekeeper was out to screw him. Every neighbor was lying. Every co-worker was gaming the system to get ahead.
And me? I was accused of infidelity, stealing money, never loving him, and more. I was told I was worthless, lazy, crazy and ungrateful. On and on it went.
When I learned of his sex addiction, the twisted manipulations and hypocrisy hit me like cold water. Prior to that moment, however, the years of gaslighting had nearly destroyed my ability to trust myself.
2. Listen for the odd truths that sneak out and leave you confused:
My ex’s favorite was “You’re going to leave me someday.”
He knew he was a deceitful selfish man. He knew that I would eventually discover the truth and would, indeed, leave him.
He would say this and I would predictably feel sorry for him, doubt my own ability to show love, and reassure him that I would stay no matter what. What a sick dance.
3. Listen for the wide sweeping, bizarre proclamations of grandeur:
When he wasn’t busy telling me what a great guy he was, my ex would very often say to me “I will never leave you or forsake you.” You know, like Jesus. Ewww.
Apparently he had quite unusual definitions of “forsake” and “great guy”.
It always left me unsettled, but I couldn’t put words to it at the time. I should have listened to my inner voice that was screaming, “Hypocrite!!”
Beyond D-Day ..... and thriving 
This is indeed my story and I’m left heartbroken as I trusted him with my life…
it’s really hard moving on with such a broken heart as the script you wrote for self is ripped up in pieces! Your family is shattered and nobody seems to understand the dynamics cos they were never there to hear or see the crazy behaviour.. and yet for some god awful reason we loved them.. but we loved the man he could be and not the actual man!
They are often very successful as they believe there own lies and justify there behaviour to themselves because somehow your the nutter..
they get inside your brain and it grows like a cancer inside you that no treatment is available for.
They convince the world and there mother that they are good guys..
it’s what you do with anger and disappointment afterwards which is life a burning incurable decease that lives with you, and somehow and that’s called grief!
Every day we the victims have to deal with shit they created and yet blamed us for!
Your brain says move on move on but often your so damaged by it, that it’s just not that easy.
We have to forgive ourselves for just not recognising it and making a very unlucky choice of partner..
it’s tough but it’s got to be done… you just need to change your point of view and accept what can’t be changed. It’s done and that’s that.
My heart goes out to any woman who has been a victim…. and just to say look for the good guys out there if not light your fire, get a nice glass
Of wine, sit on your cosy sofa, watch a lovely movies and believe there is a god! Xx
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So sweetly said, Jeanette! You got me with “they believe their own lies”! I hope you are doing well and healing from the nightmare!
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